12 August 2009

Things Women Wish Men Knew

So I just finished reading this list on Men's Health entitled 50 Things Women Wish Men Knew. Either the author, Lisa Jones, is an insecure idiot, or she is trying to make women look that way. Of course, there are a few that apply:
  • I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
  • "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
  • I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
  • I expect you to call me.
  • Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
  • I'm scared of losing my independence.
  • A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
  • You're sexy when you're: shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
  • I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
  • Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
  • Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
  • It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read . . .
  • For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
As for the ones like:

  • I love it when you're sweaty. (I don't, unless I made you that way.)
  • You should know all this and more without my telling you. (I don't expect you to read my mind, because then you will expect me to read yours. And I won't)
  • I remember everything about our relationship. (I don't, and if you don't, then I'm off the hook)
  • If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking . . . (Oh, get a grip Lisa. We all have those days. Read a book. Drink a glass a wine in a bubble bath. Go out with the girls.)
  • Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times. (Most times, yes. But sometimes, knowing where the other one comes from or gets their crazy insecurity can actually be, oh, I don't know, healthy?)
  • You should never tell me what to do. (Sometimes I want to be told. Sometimes. Also, does it make sense that this would be on the same list as: "I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.")
  • I want to be Madonna. (Really? What part of Madonna's life seems so great? The rich celebrity part? There are many other celebrities I would pick before her...)
  • If I slept over, you owe me breakfast. (Not when one of us has to dash out early to go to work, which is most times.)
  • You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (Sigh. Girls, please, don't say you're cool with it if you're not. If I'm mad, you'll know. Not all of us play these retarded word games.)
  • Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
    (They aren't. A humble apology, accompanied by small gestures like flowers or dinner made by you, means so much more. I'm not a whore and can't be bought.)
  • When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. (Wrong! We are fishing for compliments, like "I think you're hot," or at least a "Baby, I love kangaroos."
  • Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count. (It totally counts, provided you say it other times too. So say it other times, too.)
  • I will leave if you lie. (We won't. We should, but we probably won't. So be a decent human being and be honest for its own sake.)
So there you have it, guys. If you want to know, talk to us, and we will probably tell you. Right between chocolate and sex.

19 June 2009

I'm not missing, I'm right here!

After a long online hiatus, especially from this here blog, I am back! It's been a busy summer so far, moving to Chicago, looking for jobs, catching up with friends both old and new (it's good to be back), having my brother visit from Seattle with his new wife and baby (and dogs!), and having Sierra's eleventh birthday party. Whew!

So there it is. The short version. Stay tuned to future posts for adventures of a girl looking for a job in a city full of competition in a bad economy, where the shotgun approach keeps it interesting. That's right, I actually apply to EVERY job I find I qualify for, even a little bit. In one day, I applied for a Miller Girl, administrative assistant, bartender, server, window washer, personal assistant, and child care provider. On one hand, I stay busy and get plenty of interviews. I even land some of the jobs, albeit part time and often not starting immediately, leading my friends to admonish me with a Jamaican accent, "your brudder has fo-ty seven jobs, quit being lazy and git to work!". Another friend asked me why I needed three jobs, "wouldn't it be easier to just find one really good job?" Geez, why didn't I think of that?

Anyway, some highlights of the month:
Sierra turned 11
We all met Plato, my brother's baby, for the first time.

29 March 2009

New Work! Hardhat stickers that rock!


Even though I have spent more time at my computer than my easel lately, I have managed to make the best of it and spit out some new work that can be done right here. The latest project, a hardhat sticker for Technical Welding Inspection in Kuttawa, KY. Apparently these stickers that promote all these companies are hot commodities for the hardhat-wearing set, and the coolest guys have the most stickers. Also, the cooler stickers you have to trade, the better (or more maybe?) you get. Honestly, I don't know how that all works, but I do know what the stickers look like (since I did them):

28 March 2009

Buy handmade!

Lately I have been feeling really guilty for not doing anything new in my art, and not adding to my shop or posting anything artistic. Worst...artist...ever...I know! Truth be told, I have been to the doctor several times for my shoulder, which has hurt excrutiatingly bad since last fall and has prevented me from doing much, and finally got a diagnosis. Turns out I have bursitis and rheumatoid arthritis, which sounds terrible, but can at least be controlled. Now that I finally know what is wrong, I can finally begin to heal and treat it, which is a good thing. The meds I am on now are amazing wonder drugs, and I am feeling better than I have in months! I also recieved so many well wishes and prayers, which I thank you all for, because it truly puts everything in perspective. One was even from an reader of this blog that was praying for my pain, while she is fighting cancer. Talk about perspective.

Despite the fact I have been absolutely terrible about posting new goodies to my shop and creating new things, I still buy handmade whenever possible, and even managed to cross off everyone in my Christmas list last year with handmade. I was very proud of that. Not only is your money going to someone who has personally put their heart and soul into it (and appreciates your business, no matter how small), but you are also getting something truly unique and top quality. My friend Libby put it in a funny, but true, way on her blog:

"I hate buying crap from China, so that's one main reason I buy handmade and why I encourage you all to buy handmade. When you buy from China you support communism...and a little puppy dies each time you walk in wal-mart....and baby birds fall out of their nest each time you THINK about going to wal mart...and volcanoes erupt and take out whole cities and towns when you BUY something from wal-mart....you get the picture. Its just bad. BUY HANDMADE!!!"

Libby makes incredibly soft, natural, and soothing soaps and sweet hippie clothes, which I am the biggest fan of. She also sent me out of the kindness of her heart, all kinds of feel better stuff for Sierra when she got in her bike accident last fall. The best thing was unrefined shea butter, which did amazing things for fading Sierra's scars and speeding healing, which I never would have even known about if it wasn't for her. Another good reason to buy handmade- where else do you get that personal of a touch?

I promise, dear readers, I am on the path to healing and will have new work to post soon. Keep your eye out, cause once I start, it's hard to stop me! First on the list is a commissioned painting of a Tuscan street scene, which I am pretty excited about. I plan on working all week on that this coming week, along with starting my Tai Chi classes and visiting the spa for a massage! Ah, life is good...

26 March 2009

Welcome to the world, Plato!


My only sibling, Andy, and his wife Erica had their first baby last night!! I am sooo excited to be an aunt! Plato Robert Charneski was welcomed into the world around 10:15 pm Mountain/ Pacific time after 39 (yes, 39!!) hours of drug free labor! Whew! Way to go Erica...and to boot, baby was a whopping 9 pounds, 1 oz and 21 inches! Now, my brother is not always the quickest to call or email, and I know he probably doesn't read my blog, so we're gonna test this out. See, I was promised pictures today, and while I am sure the proud parents are totally exhausted, I am equally impatient. So until I get a picture of the baby, I am gonna have to post another picture here.
Like Plato, his namesake. Andy, if you read this, send me baby pictures! So much cuter than the philosopher!! And by the way, love the name! Very cool for what's gonna be one cool kid!

22 March 2009

Star Wars- as retold by a girl

Ok, so I am talking to a friend the other day, and he cannot fathom that I do not clearly remember what happened in the Star Wars movies and that they didn't change my life. Perhaps part of this is hurt feelings, because the truth is, I have seen the original trilogy twice in my life (and never the new ones): once when they were out in theatres and I was a kid (I fell asleep), and the second time in college when I humored said friend and watched all three back to back with him (I fell asleep). So he asks me to name five main characters, which I thought I did pretty well, but failed because my main characters were apparently not main enough or something. I remembered R2D2 and C3PO because I had Star Wars underroos when I was a kid, and was proud of myself for remembering those two. He then asks me to tell him what actually happened in the movies, because apparently at this point, I am failing the science fiction quiz miserably (I'm a girl, hello?), to which, again, I think I did pretty good for not seeing them in over 10 years.


So here is the deal. Below is my version of what happened. Girls, read it, and leave me comments adding in what I missed and fixing what I got wrong. I figure between all of us, we can piece together the important parts. Then I am going to take those comments and put together a sort of Girl Cliff Notes to Star Wars. Sure I could ask a guy to do it, but we all know how that would go. 5 minutes into the description, he will sigh and say, "Just watch the movie...".





So it starts out with the scrolly words that go back into space giving this big back history or something. I think it tells us that the universe is in trouble and someone needs to do something, already. Then we see this dusty, deserty planet where Luke Skywalker? lives, and he is looking for something to do. Then someone comes and tells him, "hey, you've been chosen to save the universe," so he goes away on a spaceship. Oh, and the spaceship has these fun little robot dudes on them, I'm not sure what they actually do, R2D2 and C3PO. R2D2 is a little round robot that doesn't talk he beeps, and C3Po is like a gold tin man type robot that talks too much and understands R2. There is also this BigFoot kinda dude there that makes this crazy yell-growl sound, and never talks named Chewy? Yeah, I think thats his name.


Then somewhere along the lines Luke meets Princess Lea, although I don't really know what she is the Princess of, and he likes her. Then he decides, or maybe someone tells him, cause I think there is this old dude giving Luke advice over this hologram thingie, he needs to hire help. So Luke goes to this really happenin' alien bar to hire help for his mission. There he meets Hans Solo, this guy that is better looking, stronger, and more skilled than he is, except he doesn't have the force like Luke. But noone knows that yet, I think. So Hans Solo comes with him, and then because he is the good looking one now, he ends up smooth talking and kissing Lea until they are interrupted by that bumbling chatterbox of a robot, C3PO. Then, they all meet Darth Vadar, the bad guy in the black suit that breathes a lot (maybe he could breathe better without the mask?).


Anyway, Darth Vadar ends up kidnapping Lea, and then Luke and Hans have to save her. Somewhere in there, they all go to this foresty planet with all the cute little Ewok dudes too. Darth Vadars friends, the storm troopers, fly in the forest with all these smaller spaceships and the good guys and bad guys blast away at each other. I don't really know what happened to the Ewoks, but I'm guessing a lot died, because they're so little.


Anyway, so at some point, Luke finds out that Darth Vadar is his father. Maybe from this little green dude with big ears, Yoda, that lives in a cave. He is apparently, like, the smartest dude in the universe or something, like a sage. I think that's when Luke learns he has the force, although I don't really know what that means. So then that old dude that has been giving Luke advice teaches Luke how to use a LightSaber sword, because apparently that's way harder than it looks, and Luke is able to kill Darth Vadar and save Lea. Even though Darth Vadar plays the "you wouldn't kill your father, would you?" card, Luke kills him anyway, cause his dad's a dirtbag. Then I think since Darth Vadar is dead, its kinda like killing the head vampire, because all the Storm Troopers all just kinda stop fighting then. Or maybe it was just that he was a real bad boss and they're glad he's dead. Either way, the good guys won.